Time for a Reboot

It's time for a recharge and a reboot.

Similar to how computers that are left running at a constant clip get bogged down with memory clogs and orphaned processes and threads, so too does the human body. It can get stuck in a rut sometimes just going through the motions as if on autopilot, all the while wearing down with years of pent-up stress and frustration. Every once in a while a recharge and a reboot becomes necessary.

This is mine. I am considering this both the end of my past and the beginning of my future.

I have spent too many years mired in the culture, constraints, and complacence of my relatively stable career. I'm generally happy with what I do. I definitely enjoy the team of folks with whom I work. But a lot has happened over the past couple months that have brought new perspective to who I am and what I am capable of doing.

There is a fork in the path ahead of me. One direction provides relative certainty as to where it ends. Sure there are a few bumps along the way, especially in the portion closest that is easiest to see, but the horizon has a fairly reliable destination that is not terribly unpleasant. However, it lacks adventure and excitement and that is partially because it is also relatively low risk. It's like walking on a paved bike & hike trail.

The other path is rugged and unsteady, and has boulders in place of the bumps. This path is also much more difficult to see where it ends up, or how many twists and turns it will have along the way. There may be unseen perils lurking just out of eye-shot. There may be places where it's hard to even tell where the path picks up on the other side. And there may be drop-offs along the way, where one bad step could lead to catastrophe. This path also has mystery about it. Perhaps there are even uncharted portions where I would become the first one paving the way. Will it lead where I want to go? Perhaps. More than likely, it will lead wherever I am willing to take it - and that may require having a larger appetite for risk and almost certainly will require more work.

"Why," you might ask, "would you be willing to sacrifice the more certain path?" The answer is simply: because it is tiring and tedious. I've been running along this path a long time. I pass the same people day-in and day-out, and they are all great people, and they cheer me on along the way. My body is so accustomed to walking along this path, it's hardly even a workout any more. I am craving something new. I am craving challenges that I have never had to face. I am craving meeting new people and building new connections. And I am craving new sights and sounds to tease my senses.

Could choosing this new path be a giant mistake?
Perhaps.
Is there a tremendous amount of risk in doing this?
Almost certainly.
And am I making a giant wager in this choice?
Absolutely.

But I am betting on myself. I know that I am capable of doing more. I know that I have been the victim of circumstance along the way. And I know that I deserve to get as much enjoyment and fulfillment out of my career as many others have achieved for themselves.

I worry that my outlook is naive and short-sighted; that even though I think I know what risks lie ahead, they are actually far greater than I can imagine. I also worry that I take for granted the stability that I have been afforded by traveling along the same old path. And I worry that I will quickly regret this decision. I may. And I may very well find that, once again, the grass really is no greener anywhere else. Maybe so. Maybe not. I certainly won't know if I don't give it a shot. I just hope that if anything does go south, that I can find enough of a safety net to still catch myself. That is my greatest fear in all of this.

If I had more connections that I could lean on to steer me in the right direction and help catch me if I were to fall, this would not be as difficult a choice. But you see - it's for exactly that reason, that I must take this leap of faith. I will never build those connections if I stay where I'm at. I've been kept locked up for far too long. Well, not any more.

Hello World!

As I set out on this new path, grabbing my trail shoes and walking stick for the treacherous path that lies ahead, I look into the great unknown with nervous anxiety, anticipation, wonder, uncertainty, thirst, fear, and excitement.

I just hope I'm making the right decision.